Starting from a place of safety
Updated: Jul 11, 2019
If you haven’t already read them in my past few blogs I have talked about setting compassionate goals. Now rather than thinking and planning it is time for action!
It can be tricky to do something new, how much do we push ourselves outside of our comfort zone?
To learn and develop we need to stretch ourselves and step outside of our comfort, yet if we make a leap too far we can be overwhelmed and quit. Have you ever gone to a new place to do a new activity with new people and not return because we felt we didn’t like it?
When we do something new we can feel threatened, there are too many unknown and unexpected variables. Plan and reduce the unknown elements down. Going to the gym or exercise class can be intimating places, everyone else may appear to look like they know what they are doing and you worry that they will judge you - in most cases they are too focused on themselves be it their heartbeat, their muscle mass, or wondering what they will eat next that they are oblivious to the anxieties of others.
Pretty much every new client I have is nervous about their first session; they ask me questions about if they are fit enough or if it will be hurt. When a client is doing an activity for the first time or is anticipating that it will be difficult, I start by working with my clients in a place they are comfortable, within their own home and community. I will grade how much new information is given according to each individual.
If you are looking at doing a new activity see if you can do it in a familiar environment, is there a class in a community hall or parkland. Or take a familiar activity to a new environment; if you enjoy walking make that your focus the first time you go to the gym. If it is a new environment and a new activity, think about visiting the place first, or create a play list of your favourite music.
It can be useful to get someone to come with you – but remember it is your goal not theirs, they are going to keep you company and possibly your invite is a welcome opportunity for them to try something new. Choose someone that isn't flakey. Gaining support does not mean the person has to be there, they can be moral support for when you have returned. We like to think of ourselves as independent however we are social creatures and external validation is important. Validation does not mean that the person won't attempt to challenge or stretch you- chances are that others can see more of your positives and can help you build up evidence of this for yourself.
If you are not around people that will provide you with this validation then create opportunities to change the people who support you or to widen your network. If you want to talk through how to gain the confidence to do this or you are interested in having personal training in your home then just drop me an email to say hi and to find out if I am the right trainer for you.